When I'm Postmaster General . . .
So, I get a letter from Mother (no, this one was not on Hello Kitty! stationery for some reason), informing me that new stamp rates are taking effect on May 14. WTF? Didn't we just raise the price to 39¢ a year ago ? Why yes, yes we did. Now, I need to use up these stamps I have, or purchase a bunch of 2¢ stamps, like I'm some kind of philatelist? (Yeah, that's right. Look it up.)
So here's the deal. One day, when I become Postmaster General, much like my good friend, Samuel Osgood (above), I will vow to have longer gaps between postage hikes. And none of this 2¢ hiking, either. If they're going to nickel and dime us to death, they might as well have the moxy to nickel and dime us, literally. That way, if they want, they can increase the rate by a dime every 5 years (or however else to make it economically feasible). This current rate is just ridiculous. Who is with me in the Revolution? As an added bonus, I would like to reinstate the Pony Express. Basically, it would just be me on a pony. His name is Patches.
Now, don't get me started on when I become Treasurer of the United States. Your days are numbered, Pennies. Worthless little bastards.
4 comments:
You can use words like "philatelist" in your blog, but can't come up with anything other than "ewok" for scrabble? I hope you didn't just let me win...
Ewok is totally a word. So is "mogwai." And I would have won with either of those.
I don't know if Patches' pouches could fit your Hello Kitty diary, your dignity, AND the mail for the whole American West...
To be honest, my new Pony Express wouldn't really "deliver mail." Basically, it would just be my excuse to have a pony.
Post a Comment