Area Rugs on Clearance are Better than Sex:

Or: So this is what my life has become?

Upon preparing for the big move, I realize that I have reached a certain stage of my life. I'm not sure exactly what the technical term for it is, but I shall just call it "Nesting." This is where I am finding things for my new apartment. Now, to the untrained eye, it might appear as though this is the same as finding the new things for the room freshman year of college. However, this is entirely different from the residence hall (or "dorm" for the bourgeouis swine who have never become slaves to the cult of res life and know better). Then it was a time of finding cool, kitschy, handy space saver items. Fun patterns, bright colors, and if it's plastic, all the better! No, no my friends, I am now firmly in the place where I drool over Crate & Barrel. Apparently, and don't ask how, I am now on the mailing list for Pottery Barn. Pages are dog-eared and committed to memory. Which is handy, because some of them stick together (ok, ew, not like that - my sister's dog threw up on it). So what is a day in the life of the Nester?

I wake up around 7:30 AM, even though I don't work, I'm not in school, I am far from the mythical "morning person" and normally having nothing real to do. However, today is an exception. I eagerly get up this early because I have a date. No, not the real kind (honestly, you should know me better than that!). Starting at 8:00 AM, Kohl's is having a huge sale. Well, I want to get there before all the old geezers who can save an additional 20%. (So not only do they get Social Security - which won't exist when I'm their age - but they get better discounts? Bastards!) Anyway, I find a lovely area rug and end up paying only a third of the sticker price. Result! Add some kitchen rugs, a pillow that is the perfect shade to complement my chair, and I'm quite accomplished. Later, it's off to Menard's to try and find a carpet runner for the bedroom, which I've decided to do in shades of blues.

Yep, this is my sad life. Perhaps the saddest part is I really don't think it's sad at all. I'm excited about it. I like nice things. I like my hardwood floors. And I need to put the effort into making my home look nice now, because when school actually starts, I'm not going to have the time or energy to do it.

Now, for everyone out there worried about me, please don't. I'm still just as obsessed about clothing. I've simply added home furnishings and decor to my repertoire. To illustrate: I'm at Boston Store while Mother is shopping for purses. As I browse the men's section, I find the most gorgeous grey pin-stripe suit. Perry Ellis. 100% wool. And, best part yet: flat front pants. No pleats! And, because of the one-day event, I could save $50 because Boston Store classifies Mother as a "senior citizen." But of course, it's nowhere near fitting. I'm just too tall. Bastards. This would not be a problem in Italy, where things are made for my body type. I swear, sometimes the tall, skinny, handsome ones just can't catch a break...