There and Back(pack) Again:
Chapter 5: "Lazy" is a four-letter word
Ok. Here's the deal. As much as I would have liked to finish translating my travel journal into blog form, it's just not going to happen. Also, I have considered the fact that I am moving in two weeks, and at that point should have new, exciting things going on in my life. So, quite apropos (yeah, I just wanted to use "apropos". I'm That Guy.) for my whirlwind tour of Europe, I shall finish up my account in whirlwind fashion.

Torino - Italy
*Woke up to realize my credit card is lost. Ginormous headache. All better now.
*Stopped by drug police at the train station. Think the dog smelled Liz's bloody crotch. No, seriously.
*Hour-long trek to find tampons in the morning, then back on the train to Nice.
Nice - French Rivieria
*Beach was gorgeous. Stayed in the sun too long. Burned like Joan of Arc. Too soon?
*Saw 70-year old woman with large, fake breasts oiling her leathery hide. Shudder.
*Accidentally walked in on a funeral service. Awwwwkwaaaaaaard...

San Sebastian - Spain
*Did laundry (this was the highlight of Spain).
*Fell in love with sangria.
*Fell in love with watching the waves of the Atlantic Ocean crash into the shore.

Bordeaux - France
*Wine Tour! (We took notes!)
*Acted as "tour guide's pet"
*Had some damn good wine (I recommend the 2003 Sauterne.)
*Sketchiest layover ever: Dax train station. The man telling us about the secret archives buried under the Vatican was the least crazy person there.

Belgium: Brussells
*Almost too quaint. Borderline Disney, without actually being obnoxious.
Brugges:
*Heard the infamous quote : "Y'all, they do NOT have TexMex here!" from a dumb sorority type American girl, shocked that the restaurant in BELGIUM didn't serve TexMex. Gasp!
*Choco-Story: museum detailing the history of chocolate. Free samples!

Amsterdam - Netherlands
*No we did not.
*Skin crawled at the concept of window-shopping for people.
*Van Gogh museum rocked my socks. Sex Museum was lame.

Paris - France
*Stayed in a one-star hotel. Wondered why it cost only 16 Euro a night. Found out quickly. *So many sights: Notre Dame, Eiffel Tower, Arc de Triomphe, Louvre, Opera House. All gorgeous. Never enough time.
*Went to the Moulin Rouge. Had to buy shoes. Wasted by the end. Topless women and ponies!

Frankfurt - Germany
*Found out we didn't have entry stamps on passport. German guard alerted us it was a crime. Crapped ourselves. All worked out.
*During security check it felt like I was being frisked by cotton candy and smiles.

Newark New Jersey
*10 hour layover from 8 PM to 6AM. Let us never speak of this again.

Home Sweet Home!

For individuals who want to see even more photos, please check out my Facebook albums. For those who still can't get enough, if you really want all 490 in disc form, just ask, and I'll call your therapist!