It's Always More Fun South of the Mason-Dixon (Part I)

Last Thursday, at 5:20 AM, I departed Milwaukee to begin my journey into the South. First stop? Connecting flight in Charlotte, NC.

Before departing on this trip, I recognized that I would have a stereotype of the South: backwards, slow, twangy (is that a word?). So I tried to separate myself from that bias. However, upon visiting the Charlotte airport, I realized that the South is indeed a different place. It seems to be catching up slowly, and is somewhere between the contemporary and Reconstruction. You can see this as you watch the planes land while sitting in a rocking chair. The airport has rocking chairs! Ok, maybe I'm the only one intrigued by these simple, somewhat backwards ways. Regardless, I was able to meet up with Jordan (although not at the right gate--I can't read or write) to get on the second leg of our trip. Next stop: Memphis, Tennessee.

Upon arriving in Memphis, we did the most natural thing. Visit Graceland. Being the proud Elvis fans that we are, the platinum package was a no-brainer. I mean, why stop at just the mansion, when you can also see the car museum? Or the airplanes? Ok, we didn't see the airplanes. Whatever. The point is this: go to Graceland. It's completely worth it, even if you just go there to see a sort of time capsule of 1970s extravagance. I mean, it's like stepping into the past--a past where I didn't exist. Two words: Jungle Room. Two more words: shag carpet (on the walls, ceiling, and bed). Of course, if I could have filled out a comment card, it would have been this: did we really need to take a shuttle bus across the street to the mansion? Even if they wanted to avoid traffic and people being hit by cars, clearly the answer should be to have a walkway over the street. Preferably a moving walkway.

After we left Graceland, it was time to check in to the Peabody Hotel downtown. And yes, we saw the ducks. For those who aren't familiar with the excitement over this seemingly simple event, allow me to elaborate. The Peabody is famous for its ducks. They live on the roof, and every morning they take the elevator down to the lobby at 11:00 AM, taking the red carpet to the fountain. Then, promptly at 5:00 PM, the ducks take the red carpet, up the elevator, and back to the roof. Of course, they are accompanied by the Duck Master and some honorary Duck Master (Apparently, not me. some "child." Whatever. I'm not bitter.).

Next, we went out to dinner at Rendezvous for some Memphis BBQ. Pulled pork nachos? Perhaps one of the best things that I have ever had in my life. The ribs were good. Now, perhaps I'm simply a Memphis BBQ Philistine, but I prefer my ribs to be drenched in sauce. This was more of a rub. It was good, but to me, great would have required approximately 25 pre-moistened towelettes. Give or take. Especially their BBQ sauce (from the nachos), which was amazing. Oh well.

After gorging myself on food and beer, we walked around a bit, then took in a movie. Fracture. What can I say? I love my A-Hop (aka "Anthony Hopkins"). I definitely recommend it. At least for a rental or the cheap seats. Of course, I'm now at the point where any kind of legal thriller leaves me with the question: "Is that how that would really work?" I hate myself sometimes. But I love Memphis!